Weedsport’s Finest Issue #2


I stand up from my couch which I’ve been sleeping on instead of my bed for the past 1,2,3,6 days, I take a walk over to my kitchen and end up tripping over the countless bottles that lie on the floor, I get back up and stumble my way over to munchies land and I open the fridge only to find the most dangerous thing of all… a lack of groceries! I sigh, so Wegmans it is I guess.

I slip on my coat when suddenly I hear an explosion and villains flood the street. “Oh for Pete’s sake!” I shouted, I knew things were gonna be tough until a villain flew into my house and I knew I had to do something because I would like to remain in a state of being alive. I try and punch the problem and I manage to and a few good hits until I get blown through 3 walls. I try to get up, I look over at my closet and see the costume I used to wear as Spinnerets. The classic purple and gold suit with white trim was amazing back in the day… I put the costume back on, it was a bit snug for my taste considering I put on a few pounds after years of refusing to try and get out of my slump.

“Hey knock off Killer Frost, take THIS!” I say as I launch a dining room table at him. It smashes and he forms a blade of ice, an ice scythe on his hand to be exact. He tried to cut and slash, and cut and slash at me. For the most part, he missed but he also landed a few good hits on me. I looked at my suit littered with cuts and a few stains of red on there. I made a mad dash while jumping out of the way of the bad guy’s attacks. Thinking on my feet I had to come up with something warm to get the bad guy to leave me alone so I looked over at my stove I looked over at my set of matches in my set of fireworks that I may or may not on legally.

“Hey, dollar store brand Captain Cold, over here!” I proceeded to light the matches by webbing onto the knob and the light on the stove. The fireworks are all lit up and I make a mad dash for the door… I just barely manage to escape as the house explodes in flame. The villain crawled out covered in sweat in ashes – I knew this wouldn’t hurt them in any major way, it would wound them – but their ice is very durable so for the most part, they would only suffer injuries – not anything too deadly.

The police came to arrest them. I walked away and found myself in a homeless shelter. After your house blows up there isn’t much of an option in the way of where to go. On my way to the homeless shelter, I thought, “What’s the worst that could happen?” and I decided to use whatever spare money I had left to buy a lottery ticket. I walk into the homeless shelter and find myself a small bed and pass out. 

“Excuse me, ma’am, do you need anything?” I woke up to have someone standing over me and in the room of a hospital meaning the cuts were worse than I anticipated. I took in my surroundings and looked at the TV close by and saw my winning numbers. I looked over at the lady and asked simply if they have anything in the way of chocolate ice cream. She nodded and walked away to get it, I breathed a sigh of relief my financial trouble would be over when I got the money but I was still in need of a place to stay. I was eventually brought the ice cream, which felt amazing eating after having gotten slashed and having to destroy my own house to stop a villain named Ice Storm. I checked out of the hospital and made my way to the shelter until I accidentally landed on the sidewalk after forgetting to shoot a web. I stand up and walk to the one place where I can have some sort of assistance.

I dropped my groceries and walked over to my fridge and started unloading my groceries. I live on a mainly vegetarian diet because it’s my preference. I get done and I walk over to my living room and pull out my copy of All-Star Superman. I take a deep sigh knowing who I’m about to talk to considering I’ve known them for quite a long time. “Spinerettes, I’m going to have to ask you to get off of my ceiling, please, it took me a week to get those footprints off last time.”

“Rabbi Metsker, How are you?” The spider-themed hero said as she lowered down,

“What do you want?” I hadn’t seen her for a long time so I was in the dark this time about what she wanted.

“Do you mind if I take refuge with you for a bit? I uhh blew up my house… literally.” She said with a hint of embarrassment, quieting down like a kid who was scared of getting in trouble. I rolled my eyes.

 “Fine, but you have to live under my rules. No alchohol, no staying up till the crack of dawn, and please don’t track blood all over my carpet” She nodded and pulled me in for a hug. 

Later that night While the good Rabbi was asleep I got out of bed at 11:30 and prepared for my work, I went to grab my old suit only to remember that it was shredded up by Ice Storm. I was prepared to go out in a hoodie until I saw a tattered CJ Banks box and opened it only to find a brand new spider suit with a note that read.

“Dear Carmella,

I know you’re going to disobey my crack of dawn rule so I just made you this, I workshopped it a bit but it’s made of re-enforced Kevlar with a carbon nano endoskeleton made to withstand the punch from Crater Maker.

From your dearest friend,

Rabbi Metsker”

I took the note and put it in my pocket which thank the new gods this suit has pockets and I jumped out the window swinging from building to building and eventually made my way to the small homely town of Weedsport. I love this town even though it’s in the backwoods of New York I still love it. I swung from building to building when I came upon a rather precarious situation.

“I said freeze.”

“Please I d-didn’t do anything wrong.” The cop slammed the poor woman’s head against the wall.

“When we get back to the precinct you tell them that was because you’re clumsy.” they started walking… I know it’s illegal to fight an officer but this is just a small incident of police corruption.

“Hey, book it fellas it’s da fuzz,” I said. The officer went to unload his rounds at me, but fortunately, I dodged them, then I snatched his weapon, and webbed it to the wall right next to me. “You know officer you have a lot of stones taking in an innocent person like this,” I said as I marched up to him. he started walking backward. I put my hand on him and shoved him full force into his paddy wagon. there was a huge dent and a groaning police officer. I picked up the woman and started swinging her home.

“So uh… I’ve never been saved by a hero before th-thank you.” I zoned back in after realizing that she was talking.

“Huh, what? Oh, you’re welcome all in a day’s work hehe.” Gods I’m an idiot. I’ve never had people thank me, I’ve had people unload their rounds on me but being thanked feels super weird, but considering I have a pretty lady saying thank you to me it felt real, nice hearing it. “So what happened? You know when the officer showed up and you know.” I could see her shift a little uncomfortable.

“I was walking home minding my own business… and he pulled up, he’s my ex, he was abusive and when I broke up he… he tried to hurt me in a serious way and got away with it because he’s a cop.” I was disturbed by the fact that someone could willingly do that then use their position to make themselves above others. there’s a reason cops can’t exactly be trusted. We arrived at the pretty lady’s home just as our changed conversation was coming to a close. “Thank you, Ms. Spinerets.” She gave me a peck on the cheek, and I blushed like no other.” I nodded and swung away. I couldn’t help but think about how stopping someone who was supposed to serve and protect was weird for my first time out. I couldn’t keep focusing on that because I saw someone run away with money from the bank.

I walked into the station as my co-workers and fellow officers gave me looks as to why I looked a bit disheveled. I grabbed myself a pot of coffee. I grabbed a donut and sat down at my desk, I am going to break that hero with my bare hands.

“Hey, Johnson I need to process this schmuck.” I started up my computer when the person started talking.

“Let me guess you had a run-in with a mutual wall-crawling pest.” How did she know about that? I leaned forward.

“Yeah, but what’s it to you?”

“Well, I can tell you’re a gentleman who doesn’t appreciate it when someone makes a fool of him.” I nod my head how dare that spider makes me look like an idiot in front of my girl. “So what do you say pal, release me and destroy the person who made a mockery of a chivalrous soldier like yourself or are you gonna sit back and watch as this another so-called “heroes” take your town from you?” I look up at the woman.

“I want to break Spinerets.” She smiled and I went to uncuff her.

“Excuse me Mx I’m gonna have to ask you to put down the fat stacks that you’re holding,” I say in the most professional way possible. The person turns around revealing that the tail and ear of a fox are real and glowing yellow eyes which honestly kind of cool, not something you really see every day. “So could you please just give it?” I tried to say kindly. 

“Oh, really? well, looks like the big bad spider is going to have to chase me for it.” I was now blushing furiously as I had not expected him to sound so much like a siren’s call but I had to shake it off.

“Please just give me the bag of money that you have stolen.” I went to web snatch it out of his hand but he caught the web and threw me off the side of the building. I grabbed onto the side as best I could but the finger part ripped off because of how fast I was going. thinking fast I shot a web and launched myself back to the top. I bolted after him rooftop after rooftop until we reached the Pit Stop. I threw a few punches and he managed to catch some. 

“Sorry, hun but this is where I let I let you off He pushed me off of the roof again but this time I was prepared. I swung back onto the roof where I noticed he was gone. I went to jumps and start swinging again but I missed my mark and hurt my arm so looks like I’ll be walking home. it was quite chilly in the night if I’m being honest, though there was a nice serenity to it just walking home after all the work is done, I passed by some shopkeep who was packing up for the night and asked if I would like a coat, apparently, he recognized me from when the Butzemann nearly killed him but I saved him. he handed me a trench coat and I thanked him for it I used to honestly hate being a superhero but in times like this, I honestly feel like it might not be half bad.

I walked into the building that, that lady gave me directions to. I walked inside only to notice a room with machines and what looked to be the little pod waiting for someone as righteous as me to walk into it.

“Well well if it isn’t our little super-soldier, just take off your shirt and step into the machine, and you will be on your way to greatness my friend.” I nodded and took off my shirt. as stepped into the pod so many things were racing through my head, how I’ll get to beak the spider, like a toothpick how Janice will know she’s my property, how I’ll be awarded a medal for serving in the line of duty, and have no repercussions for anything I do. “Okay, Dr. Svetvson switch on the machine and we will get this puppy up and at em.” By the sounds outside of the machine it was starting up, and by the feeling of being stabbed, I was injected with the serum that would enhance me. I… it was amazing energy like that to rival the gods. I could feel myself become bigger more powerful… hungry.

What in the world was he doing in there wasting time? “Johnson, get out of there you’ve been injected.” With a thunderous clap, a large fist-shaped dent was put in the pod, we all jumped back a bit, the militia grabbed their firearms, and were prepared to handle the situation with lethal force. PUNCH! PUNCH! PUNCH! the pod was so dented you would’ve thought that it was made to be a movie prop… KABLAM! you could hear the go-to pod first off and then slam immediately on the ground none of us really know the militia started firing we’re hoping to lethally, take care of the little mess we had made, and discard of him quietly he was a rather unimportant officer so it really wouldn’t matter to us if you had died or not. I heard a snarling sound low and droning I knew we could take care of the problem the other two had failed and we managed to take care of them so I don’t see why this one should be any different.

“For too long I’ve been restricted by the capacity of government-issued regulations not that I wish to follow any of them but now with this limited strength I can truly test my limits.” We all looked around and we all circled in open catch and I am Officer Johnson, we heard something rattle off in the distance we didn’t know what it was but one of the five men arms to defend us I want to check it, we didn’t know exactly what we were going to expect but he was dragged under a Gertie and then we heard a bloodcurdling scream. We began firing off but that did nothing as one of the men was picked up by something and was thrown into the light fixture above us… and then things went dark. “Now you’re playing my games.” When we heard that most of us probably were shaken to our cores. I kept my chill so as to not let him know he’s winning. I heard the three soldiers next to me get ripped away I heard crates get smashed with the bodies of militia soldiers. I backed up closer to the scientists and threw them into the generators, you could hear the screams and the sounds of volts passing through the warehouse. I saw the exit door was slightly ajar I knew my colleagues wouldn’t last and were expendable so I made a break for it but I was caught by something that wrapped around my body in a voice that felt bass boosted as if it were being spoken by a dragon I could hear. “Tell me, madame.” I could hear the smirk on his face as his monstrous breath brushed up against me. “Do you fear God?” 

“I love Cat Cafes they’re always so relaxing to go to,” I said as I scratched the ear of a Calico named Pawkeye. I sipped the last of my coffee and started in on my cinnamon roll. WEE WOO! WEE WOO! those sirens always annoyed me. “Sorry Pawkeye I have to go but it was nice meeting you.” He rubbed his head against me and gave me a meow as if to say ‘Go get ’em, tiger’. I smiled as one of the people working there took my drink, I got out of the door and into an alley where I changed. I soon leaped out and started swinging thinking of what could be causing the police to get involved. boy was I shocked when I got there to see a huge Rat-like monster. “HEY BIG PURPLE AND FRANKLY TOO UgLY FOR A JOKE.” He turned to face me and I saw in those eyes the face of a man who found himself to be unstoppable.

“What did you call me welp?” His face suddenly had the look of realization. “Wait, Spinnerets I remember you!” a creepy smile formed on his face. “I perfected myself just to break you!” He launched at me and I dodged. I rolled my eyes and swung around a lamp post and landed in the street. “You made a mockery of me.” One more attack then I dodged. 

“I don’t know who you are or what happened but I know some people who can help you!” he swung his tail at me hitting a building. I shot a web and yoinked over to catch a girl who was falling and what to my wondering eyes should appear the girl I saved from officer harassment. “You’re starting to become a regular.” I said.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I hadn’t noticed it last night but she had a Scottish accent and it was adorable.

“Usually depends on the day.” I dropped her off and started catching debris before it hit other people. 

“There are not enough words I have to describe for how enraged I am you humiliated me! and no less in front of MY girl!” wait… it can’t be, that… that wouldn’t make any sense why would. 

“You turned yourself into a rat just to defeat me!?” I went to punch him but got slammed into a building.  I jumped again hoping to land another hit but he grabbed me by my head and slammed me into the ground, I lifted the bottom of my mask as I was having a hard time breathing. I stood up as best I could I was having a hard time beating this guy, god everything was getting dark. I was thinking on my toes. I launched myself at him and when he went to punch me I hopped higher using his fist and then proceeded to web the right arm which tried to hit me to a building. I then landed on his back his left hand tried to grab me. I jumped off of his back and sling his hand to his back using the momentum I slingshot myself and clocked him square in the jaw. I jumped up and down reveling in my success, it didn’t last. I turned around and was shot by a beam of pure plasma. I was scared I was gonna die, just my luck a bitter sweer victory. it all stopped after the officer turned back into himself I tried to get up but my vision was slowly fading

I woke up I don’t know how long later but I was in someone’s house I was on a bad clearly must be a guestroom because who should walk in but the Scotsman herself. “Isn’t this the first time usually you’re the one saving me?” I stood up from the bed my everything hurts it’s like I’ve just been hit by a freight train a free train would be light in this example more be like a bullet train. “I wouldn’t recommend trying to stand up because you were blasted with high amounts of kinetic energy.” I laid back down knowing that she was probably right by the looks of things she had treated me in a very hospital manner.

“How did you manage all of this?” I asked pretty curiously. I mean if we’re being honest no one should be able to have hospital equipment in their home much less highly working hospital equipment. “Some of this equipment looks like stuff, no, better than the stuff that they have at regular hospitals.” She looked at me with a bit of nervousness and hesitation before replying this is something she’s been trying to keep secret for a while.

“About that, I have got most of my equipment from random mechanical shops and most of the base equipment was from a junkyard this is all high-tech but it’s all built with scraps I took a side course in engineering when I moved to America turns out I have a knack for it but I spend most of my time as a paramedic.”

“That’s pretty cool. Though I should probably leave considering the rat king as I have dubbed him is probably going to be looking for me.”

“Something tells me I’m not going to be able to stop yet so I might as well help you so how are you thinking of taking this guy on?” 

“I don’t know but she’s probably going to need some form of help.” Me and the Scottish girl both turn to see who else but Rabbi Metsker. “Logan, a pleasure to see you, but in any case, you’re thinking of trying to take on I guy you can turn into a giant rat, there’s one advances you have on your side and that is the fact that he’s tall and buff and could expend a lot of energy so the best I can recommend is getting him to a different spot and have him firing off then immediately put these on him.” The good rabbi tossed me a pair of handcuffs with glowing green rings. “I made these they suppress the abilities given to a single person… Now as much as I would like to help you physically fight this guy I am in non-violent person and I’m not allowed to engage in acts of war so the most I can do for you is be your moral support and eyes and ears.”

“Sounds like a team to me, I’ll go find this guy because clearly, he’s gonna-” I heard a large boom and angry yelling. “Well… do that.” I’m not to everyone and they know what to do Metsker just rolls her eyes because she can’t believe that she has to take on a giant rat monster to be fair though I don’t believe I’m doing it either so I’m right in that camp with her. I jump out the window and slinging a web at the building, I stand in front of the giant rat who might also still be a police officer I’m not sure about the logistics of human metamorphosis into something that wishes to cause mass distraction but we’re just gonna stick with the police officer thing for now. “Officer Johnson I don’t know if you noticed but even though you think you’re the hero in this situation you seem to be ruining the lives of many people and causing more harm than good all to fulfill some power fantasy.” 

“How dare you!” He shouts he fires off a blast of kinetic energy from his mouth I managed to dodge at this time as I’m not victory dancing, I leave off the building and try to throw a punch he launches his hand at me and smashes me on the ground I stand right back up I have to defeat this guy. At lunch myself again but this time I touch his hand and I swing around using his body to well swing on webs he’s large enough for it so obviously it won’t be too much of a problem. I eventually shoot to webs and slingshot myself knocking him in the back of the head it pushes him onto the ground I stand up and I’m proud of myself I start running at him full force sling a web fly into the year I thought a punch him but can you knock full force into a building next thing I know I’m looking up and I see the roof of a building collapse on top of me.

“Well, crap.” I stood and watched as my crush got slammed the buck first into an antique shop building so that doesn’t leave us with much hope, I tried to get people away from the massive month started reading through the village, but it seems to no avail. Unfortunately, I caught his eye and as he was jumping through apparently he must’ve stepped on a car because it set off the engine and the spark was let out judging by the fact that he, you know reeled down his foot the higher amount of energy he’s containing in that one form is, obviously not stable enough to withhold any more energy being pumped into it. I dash away shouting to the abomination that’s chasing after me eventually we get to the four corners and I am really hoping that this works as a live wire drops in front of me I put on the surgical gloves that I keep take the piece of metal in my pocket tied to the end of the live wire and throw at full force. The moment the bit of metal touched him a shock went to his body and a burst of energy was let out taking the roof off of half the buildings in Weedsport. 

I stood up from the wreckage my head hurting only to see the giant rat monster not there I see the paramedic run over to me to check if I’m OK. “How did you-“

“You would be surprised that I’m being purely made of energy isn’t that fond of being shocked with pure energy TLDR to destabilize his monstrous form and causing him to revert back to the human state all some people might not be happy that they no longer have roofs.” I nodded and looked over at the police as they were handling the situation with crowd control and then I saw the local pest stand up and make a full charge at me I rolled my eyes in with one punch called clock to him on the ground return back to the paramedic and said.

“Ain’t that typical of pigs, we’ll talk a big game to try and rough you up at the moment you stand up for yourself they fold like cards.” 

“Are you sure? This one seems more like a rat.” She responded.

“Pig is a pig – shape-shifting monster or not.” I nodded at her and swung away launching live after web till I got to the top window of the Purple Monkey where I looked down someone shot a spotlight at me and said:“Spinnerets, you are under arrest for the assault of a police officer put your hands up and go quietly!”

I rolled my eyes and didn’t care I picked up a brick and I hit the spotlight I proceeded to swing away I didn’t care if I was wanted by the police I did the right thing and stopped someone who wishes to do nothing but harm so I don’t really care what the police think of me, as far as I know, I am Weedsport’s Finest.