It was a fluke thing how I ended up here, I wasn’t like her, I wasn’t depressed or tried to kill myself. All I did was look at her and I went into a crazed-like state of mind, well not literally I checked myself in first, actually let me rephrase that I was checking myself in for volunteering. I wasn’t one for talking I guess you could say I was an introvert but something just pulled me towards her almost like a magnetic field. Usually, I tried to watch from a distance but that day I had gotten up the courage to walk over to her. I remember our first conversation like it was yesterday but perhaps it was, that is because one year here in the realm could be a day in reality. We started off by greeting each other. “Hellos” were exchanged from one to another. And our conversation gradually escalated. “Wait so you’re saying there’s another universe..beyond this place”. I asked with such confusion “Yes and it is better, at least better than this horrid place”. She had said this with such confidence that it almost made me doubt that what she had been saying was fake. “Really. And how would you get to this place”? She looked up with her stormy eyes and said the strangest thing, so strange I couldn’t wrap my head around it. “You dream, you get lost, and you fall, it’s just that easy”. “It sounds pretty scary” her eyes lighted up as if she were a child on Christmas day. She spoke with such enthusiasm  “Oh but it’s not it’s really peaceful, and it’s so beautiful when you get there, maybe I can take you there one day”. This was it I officially am curious I know this place doesn’t exist but maybe just maybe. No, it’s too unrealistic to be true. I shook my head and replied with a quiet tone of voice “Maybe one day”. And with that, I got up and left. That was the day I realized I was completely in love with a stranger, and I was scared.

Days passed since I’ve seen her last. Since I’ve seen her beautiful silky black hair, he bright grey-blue eyes, they were like mini storm clouds, and her smile that was the most stunning feature about her, her smile was just amazing, how her cupid’s bow fit perfectly upon her face, her lips not too big yet not too small, her teeth shined brightly, the edges of her smile reached her cheeks, she was perfect. Before I realized what I was doing, I found myself at the front desk of the asylum, signing myself in, to see her, Arabella. The front desk clerk greeted me already know my name from my frequent visits “hello Kaden it’s nice to see you again she’s been asking about you”. “I see but can I, of course, if I may ask, how is she?” I replied, I for some reason always found myself worrying about her even tho I know little about her to actually care, but for some reason, I can’t help it. “She’s well but nothing has changed she’s constantly sleeping and barely eating although for some odd reason she’s completely healthy”. “I see, well can I go see her?” and with that, she pointed in the direction of ‘her’.

I walk into her room, it’s dull, there are pale-colored paint and little furniture such as a cot-like bed, a dresser, bathroom, and a sink with a tiny mirror above the faucet. I had memorized this room like the back of my hand, detail by detail, every scratch, chip of paint, every single thing I know. I know because I’ve been here over a thousand times, I practically lived here.

I opened my eyes and caught a glimpse of her confused face, she opened her mouth as the words took a few seconds to come out, her voice flowed out like silk “What’s going on in that crazy mind of yours?” “Oh, nothing just thinking”. I replied in a quiet tone of voice “Well may I ask what you are thinking about”? “You, how I wish I could hold you”. I closed my eyes waiting for a response. “Then come here and hold me”. At that point I really wanted to, I really wanted to let myself get wrapped in her arms so she could comfort me, but instead, I fell to the floor and cried.  I opened my mouth to speak, my words came out harsh, shaky, and raspy all together “I CAN’T”! She looked at me with shock and took a step forward, her body started to slowly turn to ashes, that started to dissipate. “I can’t, I can’t  because you’re not here, you’re gone, you died 5 years ago…”

*____________________________*

Kaden opened his eyes, he knew she was gone, he just had to keep reminding himself, he had to keep telling himself her story over and over again, the story that caused him to lose his mind. She lived here, she lost her mind, and she killed herself, in this exact room, but she also loved him with every being in her body. Now that she’s gone he took her place in the asylum, he was slowly losing his mind, slowly becoming a shell of himself. He was a new patient at the asylum and he has been since he last whispered his goodbyes to ‘her’, Arabella Mikael.

Kaden was 16 when he started volunteering at the asylum. During that period of time, he fell in love with a beautiful girl named Arabella. Kaden had spent most of his time giving company to this young girl. On a fateful day, Arabella had hung herself upon the ceiling fan in her room. The next day Kaden had heard the news and rushed to see if it was true. After discovering that what he had heard was indeed the truth, he himself began to lose his very own mind; Kaden, age 21 is a permanent resident of our very own, Evergreen asylum.