“If your boyfriend hits you or beats you up, stay with him.  He loves you, because he’s risking for you to press charges on him, calling the police — a guy that’s willing to do that for a girl, that’s amazing.”

Let that quote sink in.

An 18-year-old, Romina, caused waves of outrage and disappointment when she posted a video online telling her social media fans and 5 million other viewers to stay with a partner if they abuse them.  She considers herself a role model to her 153,000 Facebook followers, yet is somehow confused as to why angry parents and victims of abuse would contact her expressing their concern for the message she is spreading.

To me, it shouldn’t be that confusing.  It is not acceptable for a someone to physically and/or emotionally abuse their partner.  It is not a sign of love.  And it certainly is not “amazing” as Romina claims.

Although it may not seem like it, domestic violence is still a huge issue in the United States.  Between 2001 and 2012, 11,766 women were murdered by ex or current male partners.  That’s nearly double the amount of troops killed in Iraq and Afghanistan during that same time period.  Furthermore, 4,774,00 women report cases of domestic violence by an intimate partner every year, a woman is beaten by a partner every nine seconds in the U.S., and 85% of domestic violence victims are women while the other 15% are men.

I believe by posting her video online, Romina is supporting the above statistics.  If thousands of young women are supporting her and believing what she says, domestic violence may soon become a bigger issue than ever, leading to potentially dangerous and deadly consequences.

Being abused physically, emotionally and even financially can all have serious, detrimental effects.  On the body, signs of abuse can be quite obvious.  Bumps, bruises, sprains, broken bones, marks on the neck from choking and black eyes are all very common in these types of cases.  Overall health can also take a turn for the worst.  Victims may begin to shake involuntarily, lose sleep and appetite, have muscle tension and experience chronic fatigue.

Although physical signs can be fixed, emotional and psychological impacts are much, much more serious and can affect a person for the rest of their lives.  PTSD is common among victims who have recently escaped their abuse.  PTSD is triggered by a traumatic experience and can cause nightmares, flashbacks, severe anxiety and uncontrollable thoughts about the event that is currently impacting the sufferer.  Depression is a second symptom.  Depressed individuals may become reclusive, not be as social as they once were, lose significant amounts of weight and even become suicidal.  These issues are much more profound than physical ones and are often harder to treat.

One can only hope that Weedsport students would never subject themselves to an abusive relationship, and would make the wise decision to leave whoever it is that may be hurting them.  Younger people are more prone to be abused as they are beginning to date and may think it is acceptable to be hurt, but no one has to experience domestic violence.  Going through all that pain is not worth a person you think you may love.  Never ever allow someone to hurt you.

If you or someone you know is being abused, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).  If you or someone you know may be contemplating suicide, you can reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.  All calls are secure and confidential.

Remember to be safe, and if you ever need help, someone will be there for you.